The Snames Advice Column
by lizardandtheitcarlos23
Summary: They're not gay I just want them together!
1. Chapter 1

**Eeee the beginning of the end!**

* * *

><p><em>So you both agree then? <em>

Snape- Fine but one wrong move and I cut it short!

James - :P Whatever the greasy git says

Snape- -_-

_Okay let's try an example…_

**My date canceled on me! – randomchick**

Prongs- Oh no! Go get them back!

Snape- He probably wondered why he'd ever go out with an insolent girl like you!

_Ouch…er okay…_

* * *

><p><strong>ASK AWAY!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I was gone for so long. Here you go! and um if its okay with you guys can we keep it just Snape and James? They need more interaction with each other.**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to the first ever Snames Advice Column :D<em>

Prongs- Ugh I almost tripped on grease just coming in.

Snape- Har Har Potter.

Prongs- :P

_Guys could we not fight -_- _

Prongs- Only if he stops being such a greasy falcon nosed git!

Snape- -_ -

_Anyways…._

_Question 1 comes from _**Nancy**

**Hey Uncle Severus... thanks for helping me with the death eaters when I was kidnapped. Now you and Uncle James get along or else.**

Snape- You're welcome may I suggest in the future though that you don't do such rash things.

Prongs- She was kidnapped you idiot she didn't make a rash decision -_-

Snape- You stay out of this she's not of your blood!

Prongs- Why you little—

_STOP! -_-_

*stop glaring but grumble to themselves*

_Question 2 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**PRONGS! :D *hugs and turns to Snape before whispering* What's he doing here? He's evil!**

Prongs- I was thinking the same thing!

Snape and Lizard- -_-

***to snapey* Hi! :D I'm imSiriuslyLupin4you!**

Snape- I am Severus Snape the potions master.

Prongs- *snorts*

Snape-*gives him a look*

**:) Is it true that your patronus is a doe which is THE SAME AS LILY EVANS'?**

Snape-….maybe…

***looks at prongs meaningfully* because if it is, wouldn't your animangus also be a doe, making you part female so that if Lily actually started dating you she would be sort of a lesbian/bisexual?**

Snape- -_- A patronus changes if one had a strong sudden emotion so no I am not part female I am simply in lo-

Prongs- No way! You can't love Lily! _I _LOVE LILY!

Snape- Yeah? Well I met her first!

Prongs- I was born first!

Snape- No you weren't! I'm older than you!

Prongs-…*defeated*…oh yeah well…you smell like old—parchment!

Snape- -_-

Prongs-:P *sticks out his tongue*

_-_-"…_

_Question 3 is from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**Hi! **

_Hi!^^_

Prongs- Hello!

Snape-…*acknowledges your presence*

**I'm alive! Man does that feel good! I almost did die! A freakin' wall fell on top of me! A Death Eater bumped into me and inadvertently saved me! Thank Merlin! They took Anne and Ron! The twins are in a coma right now. :( **

Prongs- That sounds terrible!

Snape- I'm surprised you're still alive…

_:O Oooh he went there! _

Snape- *confused* What? I went where?

_Uh-never mind…_

**Don't worry Prongs, Snuggle-Wuggles is fine, actually, I think had the time of his life! He kept biting Deathmunchers! :D His teeth were coming in and a upset tummy! he's all better now! Here, James, you can pet him until the end of the chapter! **

Prongs- Yay! *proceeds to petting frantically*

Snape- *moves away slowly*

***OMG! ! * squeals and proceeds to passes out* **

Snape- Is she dead? *pokes her eyeball*

Prongs- No she just had too much Potter for one day :D

Snape- Is that supposed to be funny?

Prongs- -_- Yes Snape it was…

***next day***

***hugs Severus* OMG! How do you feel about being paired with the Marauders?**

Snape- It feels uncomfortable just like this hug…

**James's son, Harry? One of the Malfoys? Any other pairing? **

Snape- …Lily might work…

Prongs- EW! NO! Stay away from her! She is MINE! M-I-N-E!

**Why don't you like stuffed animals? **

Snape- I don't like such childish things—one could spend money on more useful things such as the new edition of Advanced Potions for Wizard and Witches 3.

Prongs- Geez you're a nerd!

Snape- And you're an idiot.

_Hmm… you guys balance each other out in a way…_

Prongs- No we don't because I'm not dumb- Snape is!

**Is your hair really greasy? I don't think it is. Can I touch it? **

Snape- No and I'd prefer you don't touch-

***reaches out and runs finger through Severus's hair* Its sooo soft and silky! I wish my hair was like that!**

Snape- *pulls away* Um…thank you. :/*attempts to smile*

Prongs- Whoa really?*reaches out and tries to touch*

Snape-*smacks him away*

Prongs- Ow!*glares at him*

**How feel about your army of fangirls/boys?**

Snape- They should out more efforts into their studies instead of petty obsessions.

_Hey! *technically an obsessive fangirl* We make half of the world's money! _

Prongs- Really?

_Yup I mean think of all the merchandise we fans buy it has to adds up right?_

Prongs- So one could theoretical get rich off of fans?

Snape- It's theoretically. *James ignores him*

_Yeah sure. _

Prongs- *smiles mischievously* Hey Snape I'm selling some of Lily's underwear want some?

Snape-…*tempted*

_Guys DO mean to interrupt there's still more and Snape don't do it! I heard their just Peter's tighty whiteys. _

Snape- -_- Ew…

**Did you get my chocolates? Did someone taint them? **

Snape- Was that you who gave me the chocolates? They _were_ tainted gave me yellow spots for three day straight.

Prongs-*smiling innocently*

***glares at Prongs and cocks shotgun* **

Prongs-*surrenders* Sorry sorry!

**Do have anything I could subscribe to?**

_At the moment we are trying to think of a catchy name to name it so we don't have any by the next update which hopefully is soon since I've been busy for a while with school and everything so yeah…_

Snape- The answer is NO. -_-

_No Snape the answer is not yet. _

Snape- -_- Don't you correct me!

Snape- -_-

Prongs- Can we continue.

Snape and Lizard- Fine!

_This isn't over! _

Snape- I agree

**Don't worry James, I still love you! **

Prongs- Good! I thought for a moment you had chosen that -_- face over there.

Snape- -_-

Prongs- See? There he goes again.

**You're still my favorite deer. **

Prongs- :D

**I just have never talked to Sevvie before. **

Snape- -_- Sevvie?

*James laughs*

**Oh and I'm holding a Nancy is Back Party at your house! **

Prongs- Again? Please don't bring the tape again.

_(Hey…bring the tape!)_

Prongs- -_- I can still hear you

_(No you can't) _

Prongs- =_=?

**Now, I'm gonna give you a Marauder dare.**

Prongs- *immediately*I ACCEPT!

**A Marauder dare is a dare that you have to do or get a stinging hex to the privates three times.**

_Are you sure you want to do it I mean it could be worse than a hex to the-_

Prongs-*rolls eyes* Women *scoffs elbowing Snape* Am I right?

Snape- Sure…*moves away from James's pointy elbowing*

_Fine! -_- But don't come complaining to me! _

Prongs- I won't!

**James, kiss Severus on the mouth for ten seconds or get hexed. **

Prongs and Snape- ? !

_:D Awww yeaaahh!_

***evil smile* you choice, Prongs! (If James goes through with it and kisses Severus, PARTY AT PRONGS HOUSE! If James doesn't, I hex him in the balls three times) **

Prongs- Can I at least have time to think about this?

_Hmmm…_

Snape- No! You idiot! Get the hex! The hell with your pride I am not about to let you come anywhere near me!

Prongs- Ouch! You're crazy! It's to the bits! _THREE_ times! :O I'd rather just get it over with!

Snape- Potter don't you dar—

Prongs- *leaps at him* COME HERE!

Snape-*dodges*

Prongs- Snape come on! *hands Snuggle-Wuggles to Lizard*

_-_- James you dumbbutt…_

*Meanwhile James runs around the room chasing Severus who looks frightened for the first time in his life*

**Ok! Present time! Lizard, an artist depiction of James and Severus kissing ;).**

:D Yay!

Snape- O.O!

Prongs- Ew! I would never kiss him like that! Snape! Get over here!

*Snape continues to run*

**Severus, a book on** **extremely rare potions. **

Snape- *grabs it and runs while reading*

**James, your own bunny! **

Prongs-*distracted goes after the bunny* Cuute!

Snape-*relieved*

**Now, Accio Nancy! Accio Sirius! Accio Remus! Accio Lily!**

Snape- Hello Lily :)

Lily- Hello Snape—what am I doing here?

Moony- Hey I was studying for an exam in—

Padfoot- When aren't you studying Moons?

Moony- Um three minutes ago when I was suck—( Padfoot- O.o!)

Prongs- Oh-kay! Anyways…

**Nancy, a scarf. Lily, some cookies. Sirius, some silk scarves. ;)**

Nancy- Cool!

Lily- Yum! *eats them*

Padfoot- Hmm…perfect for tying.

Moony- O.O!

**Remus, some chocolate cupcakes. *charms room so no one can leave until the end of the chapter***

Moony- *gobbles them all*

Padfoot- Aww I wanted to try the scarves out!

Moony- Pads I said I had to study!

Lily- Yeah so do I!

Prongs- Lily forget about studying-come sit next to me :D

Snape- In your dreams Potter! Come sit next to me Lily :)

Prongs- -_-*glaring at Snape*

Padfoot- James?

Prongs- Eh?

Padfoot- I said me and Moonpie are sitting beside you Lily went to sit with Snape.

Prongs- That bastard…

**Many Huge and Kisses,(and much chaos)**

**Becky, otherwise known as Phoenix**

_Bye! _

Lily- Bye thanks for the cookies!

Moony- Yeah and the chocolate^^

Padfoot- Yeah and the pervy scarves.

Prongs- Bye!

Snape- *acknowledges your leaving*

_Question 4 comes from_ **Snickerdoodle Black**

**Helloooooooo! W00! Yeah, I feel kinda hyper.**

Snape- We can tell.

Prongs- I'm hyper too Lizard gave me what Muggles call a Red Bull :D

Lily- Like he needs more energy -_-

Snape- *chuckles*

Prongs- -_-

Moony- Ouch!

Padfoot- Haha burn!  
><strong><br>Okay, so! Nice start. I have a feeling this'll be the beginning of a beautiful frenemyship. *smiles with tears in eyes***

*everyone*- O.o?

**SEVERUS WHATEVER-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME-IS SNAPE! What is your favorite kind of cookie? Do you even like cookies? Cuz you come off as the grumpy, snarky, cookie-hating type... I'm the grumpy, snarky, cookie-loving type! Let's exchange sarcastic comments! :DDDDDD**

Snape- …what?

*everyone else*- *laughs*

Snape- *confused*

***laughing to myself like a deranged idiot... which I am.***

_O.o? _

Lily and Remus and Snape- I worry for you

**And Prongsies! Y'know -and this is just some thoughtful advice- you may or may not want to do this: become a girl (magically, you diphead). **

Prongs- A girl? Why would I want to be a girl?

Padfoot- You can go out with Snape!

Prongs- Ew!

Snape- *outraged*That is despicable!

Padfoot-*laughs*

Moony- It wasn't that funny…

**Because girls naturally bond with each other and close friends share all their secrets. So if Jessica (girl-you) becomes excellent friends with Lily, you may find out the key to winning her over as a man! Ain't Ah clayvur? ^^**

Prongs- That is good! You are clavvuuur!

Snape- Except for the part where Lily is totally here and can hear everything you say part.

Prongs- Aww man!

Lily- -_-

**Toodles,**

**※****Snickerdoodle the Slytherin (who likes cookies and has "Always" by Erasure stuck in her head)****※**

_Oh I heard that song lol and now I have it stuck in my head!_

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 5 comes from_ **revengerufus**

**Hehe...I gotta question for them...My boyfriend used an engorgement charm on a particular extremity...how do we reverse it? Help!**

Snape- o.o…

Prongs- Heh heh nice.

Padfoot- Whoa! :D

Moony- That's…

Lily- Ewww…

_Wow O.o!_

Snape- Use a Reducio charm

Prongs- Nerd…

Snape- -_-

_Okay…_

_Question 6 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**YAY!**

Moony- Yay?

Snape- What's so happy about this?  
><strong><br>ok then, if you would have to describe your perfect woman, what would she look like. *not allowed to look and act like lilly evans!***

Snape- A girl with a nice personality.

Prongs & Padfoot-*snort*

Prongs- LAME. Mine would have the hottest bod—

Lily-*shoots him a look*

Prongs-…um—but you know looks aren't _everything_. I guess someone nice?

_Somehow I doubt that…_

Question 7 comes from**Pyscho Woman From Awhile Back**

Padfoot- Oh no its her!

Moony- O.o

**Hi you Sexy Beasts! I missed you 2! Miss me? Now play nice or I'll make you! *crazed laughter* *muffled screams* Oh don't worry Anne! Now, if you tell the Dark Lord your visions, I won't hurt the redhead!**

Snape- O.O?

Prongs- Should we…save her?

Moony- No no..

Padfoot- Yeah it's best to leave them alone.

Lily- O.o!

**Anyhoo,**

*molests Snapey-Poo and Jamikins*

Snape and Prongs- O.O!

**Bye, Pyscho out! Peace!**

Lily- Bye!

Moony and Padfoot- Bye Pyscho Lady!

Snape and Prongs-*traumatized.

_Question 8 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**OH! HAPPY EASTER! ! ! *hands everyone a big basket of chocolate egg and plastic eggs full of goodies* Do you like my pet bunnies? ! *holds up two bunnies with red fur and blue eyes* They're names are Fred and George! **

Moony- I have the strangest feeling of déjà vu…

Padfoot- Me too

_Me too too…_

Prongs- Aww bunnies!

Snape- James please control yourself.

Lily- Did you just call him James?

*everyone *- O.O?

Snape- O.o Yes…

Prongs- Can I call you Severus then?

Snape- -_- No.

James- Mean!

**See, they gave me bunny ears and a tail….. Which I still have… So, I turned them into bunnies. *smug smile* **

Prongs- Nice!

Padfoot and Moony- *lost in déjà vu*

**OH! Here are the pictures and negatives Fred and George took of you! You can burn them if you want, I think you look pretty in them… **

_Ugh again! Let's go burn them! _

Moony- Again my eyes are closed!

**Well, all the Gryffindors are sleeping in the Great Hall because the Twins and I Dungbombed the Dorms… I told Minnie what you said, I got detention for telling her to suck a toe… and for calling her Minnie… yeah… The Twins turned my hair green… It still is green, I could change it back…. But I don't want to, I like green. I can be a Gryffindor and like green, Sirius! **

Padfoot- Fine but don't talk to me when there are other Gryffindors around.

Snape- As a Slytherin I find that very offensive.

Padfoot- Yeah yeah.

Snape- -_-

**The Twins, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Harry and I had a paint bomb fight in the Great Hall during lunch… Yeah, I'm in detention for two months….. have heard from Anne or Ron?**

*everyone*- Uh no we haven't!

**I should remind you that Anne is Sirius and Remus's child….. **

Lily- -_- I knew we should have saved her…

**Well, here's the pictures of the pranks since the last update! ! ! *hands over the pictures of Fred and George as bunnies; a picture of me with green hair, white bunny ears and a white fluffy bunny tail; the Great Hall, students and teachers covered in paint)**

Prongs- Wow good pictures.

Snape-*looks at them expressionless*

**Hugs and kisses! !**

Love,

Phoenix

***everyone*- Bye!**

_Question 9 comes from_** PhoenixRose92**

**HI BAMBI! HI SEVERUS! HI LIZZY! HI EVERYONE ELSE! What up?**

Snape- Hello again

Prongs- Hi again!

*everyone else*- Hi!

**GUESS WHAT? *waits for everyone to guess* I, Becky, won a chance to meet Alan Rickman! *fangirl scream* *waits a minute* Nah, just messing with ya! But wouldn't it be awesome if I did? :DDD HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! ! **

Snape- I hate April Fool's.

Prongs- :O Why?

Snape- -_- Because of you.

Prongs- Oh right…

Moony- Who's Alan Rickman

_No one! :D _

Moony- -_-?

***the Twins set paint bombs and fireworks, unknown to everyone* Its the Twins Birthday today! *fireworks and bombs go off, covering everybody* *the Twins and I fall off our chair laughing; I take a picture of everybody***

*everyone*- -_- Hey!

**(George) Enjoy our prank? **

**(Me) Try to get rid of the fireworks and paint! **

***everyone attempts to get rid of the fireworks and paint but fails, making it worse***

Nice -_-

Moony and Padfoot and Snape- -_-

Prongs- Oh cool!

Lily- My robes!

**(Fred) See we made these. :)**

**(Me) You like? *takes another picture; then hands everyone a box of paint bombs & fireworks* We made you a box of them. NO USING THEM ON SEVVIE! ! I WILL HEX YOU IN THE BALLS, IF YOU DO! ! **

Snape- O.O Alright I won't!

**Hugs and Kisses! Happy Aprils Fools! :D Love, Phoenix, Fred, & George. **

*everyone*- Bye!

**P.S. We reallly need help finding Anne & Ron. D:**

Snape- I have no idea who you're talking about…

Prongs- Yeah me neither!

*everyone denies it*

**P.P.S. We are holding the Twins Birthday party at Prongs's house! ! XP You guys are invited to go! See you there!** !

Prongs- -_-

Snape- Whoa that face is more Snapeish than me!

_Question 10 comes from _**Random Severus Fangirl**

**OMG! *faints* Omg! UR VOICE IS SO SEXY! Can you say "You've been such a naughty girl. I have to punish you" ? *orgasm* Will you make a baby with me? I LOVE YOU SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE! ! *flashes boobies***

Snape- What the hell did I just read?

Prongs- Wow I didn't know people liked greasy beaks so much

Snape- What?

Prongs- Nothing!

Moony- Some people are…crazy.

Padfoot- Yeah.

Lily- What the hell did I just read?

_Question 11 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**OMM! ! ! ! Guys, guess what? ! ? ! *doesn't wait for anyone to guess* I GOT INTO POTTERMORE! ! ! ! *screams and does happy dance* I got my House and everything! ! **

**Sirius, James, you gotta promise not to kill me. I was just as shocked, well, maybe more so 'cause it was totally unexpected. It turns out, I'm a Slytherin! **

Prongs-WHAT? The outrage!

Padfoot- Yeah I heard about that.

Prongs- AND YOU NO TELL ME?

Padfoot- I forgot :P

Prongs- -_-

Snape-*claps* *very proud*

**Shocked? So am I! ! Who'd seen that coming! It was the one House I didn't think I would get. I don't think I'm very cunning or ambitious. Guess the Sorting Hat thought otherwise. I guess I can't say I'm a Gryffindor anymore! :( **

Prongs- I'll mourn your loss.

**Prongs, Lily, u guys still love me, right? *sad puppy dog eyes***

Lily- Of course. I mean I'm still friends with Severus right?

Snape- :)

Prongs- I guess…I'll pray for you though.

**Lizzy, are u in Pottermore yet?**

_Yes! I am! _

**I'm PhoenixWolf17130. My wand is Apple w/unicorn hair, 10 inches, quite flexible. **

**Hugs and kisses!**

**Love, Phoenix**

_Bye! Good luck with Pottermore!_

Moony- Bye!

Padfoot- Adios friend!

Prongs- Bye!

Snape-*nods his goodbye*

Lily- Bye!

_Question 12 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**Yo! Prongs you should remember me from the Moony and Padfoot advice column.**

Prongs- I remember!

Snape- Hello.

Lily- Hi!

Padfoot and Moony- Hello!

**Snape let me say something. My sister say that you're the best professor in Hogwarts. Except you're a bitch to Harry(Prong's son). My Sis said that it's to make him stronger and better person. Well it did cause Harry managed to kill you know who and you died in the last movie.**

Snape- Are you from the future? How do you know I become a headmaster?

Prongs- :O Cool time travelers! And yeah Snape! Stop being such a ass!

Snape- Piss off!

Prongs and Snape-*glaring at each other*

Lily- You guys better knock it off.

*immediately stop*

**Prongs you need to stop bullying. It's bad one day all your friends will drift away and you will be lonely forever.**

Prongs- What?

Moony and Padfoot-*look away awkwardly*

Snape- :D Yeah Potter…

Prongs- Shut up!

**Lizard don't mind if I review on both Moony and Padfoot advice column and Prongs and Snape advice column.**

_Not at all! :D_

**Snape just endure what Prongs have to say. I used to be bullied too they said mean stuff to me and I ignore them. Now I'm not being bullied and stuff. After all this crap you'll be fine.**

Snape- Thanks for the advice :) *actually smiles at her*

Prongs- What? You like her now?

Snape- Of course! Victims of bullying should stick together.

Prongs- I'm not a bully!

*everyone stays silent*

Prongs- -_-

**Love**

**Klaine Lover**

Snape- Bye

Prongs- Bye

Lily- Bye!

Moony and Padfoot- Bye Klaine Lover!

_Question 13 comes from_** Klaine Lover **

**So if people are in different houses will you guys still accept them?**

Snape- Depends if they're not jerks like this one *motions to James*

Prongs- I object!

Snape- We're not at a wedding!

Prongs- -_- I mean I don't agree…as long as you don't act like Snivellus then we're cool.

**Cause I'm in Hufflepuff. I'm a brave, smart and cunning Hullepuff. :)**

Snape- You're fine with me.

Prongs- You're cool.

**My patronus is a tiger. What's yours?**

Prongs- Stag

Snape- Doe

Padfoot- Aww it's like you were meant for each other…

Snape and Prongs- -_-

**Snape a question for you. Will you be able to forgive the people who bullied you? I know I did.**

Snape- Maybe…

Prongs- -_- Really Snape? Really?

Snape- -_- Yes. James. Really.

**James a question for you too. When will you stop being a bloody git?**

Prongs-*gasp* I am NOT!

*silence again*

**For this column I will ask question and Klaine and Wevid will be here. They will come in later. James you should remember them cause you reacted so badly to their live that I threatened you to hex you so badly that I'll make sure that you will be on wheelchair for the rest of you life**.

Prongs- O.o! Oh yeah…

**Snape are you homophobic? Cause Kurt is gay. Blaine is gay. Wes and David are gay too. So will you accept gay couple? It's love and no one can stop it.**

Snape- As long as they don't touch me in a weird way I'm fine with it. Let me live my life and I'll let you live yours.

Prongs- Oh! That reminds me! *leans in and kisses Snape*

Lily-WHAT THE HELL?

Moony and Padfoot- :O *shocked*

*snapping pictures and fangirling*

*10 seconds later*

Prongs-*wipes mouth* See that wasn't that bad!

Snape- *gags* That was vile!

Prongs- :D Now I'm saved!

Moony- What?

Padfoot- yeah I'm confused what just happened?

Prongs- I had to or else I'd get hexed in the nits 3 times!

Lily- So you'd rather kiss Snape?

Padfoot- You're gay!

Prongs- -_- No Sirius I'm not.

Moony- But you kissed him! For 10 seconds!

Prongs- To avoid a hex!

Padfoot- That's why!

Prongs- -_- I need my bits! How are Lily and I going to make babies?

Lily- Ewww.

Prongs-*smiles*

Snape-*comes back form brushing teeth*

_Anyways…Bye Klaine Lover!_

_Question 14 comes from_ **livesinthelibrary4012**

**I personally think that them "together" is disgusting, therefore I am only going along with this because you said, and I quote and unquote for cryin' out loud, "They are not gay I just wanted them together."**

Snape- I agree with this person.

Prongs- Yeah so do I .

Padfoot- Says the guy that just made out with him!

Moony- Yeah James, no one likes a hypocrite!

Prongs- -_-

**They hate each other. It is only to be helpful that I present to Lizard and S.S. a fireproof, bulletproof outfit and an indestructible magical forcefield that lets you walk up to other people, but they can't walk up to you and it repels every type of jinx or hex. You can also choose who you let in. I am preparing us all for the disasters that are certain to entail due to their being paired together**.

Prongs- Oh come on!

Moony- What you want to be together?

Prongs- -_- don't you get cheeky with me Remus Lupin!

Moony- :D

Prongs- No I mean I want one of those!

Snape- Too bad :D *smug*  
><strong><br>I was actually quite sad when S.S. died. Sorry, but you die. **

Snape- I'm not sorry. I mean everyone dies…fact of life.

**James was actually quite happy with his life before he and Lily were killed by Voldemort. **

Prongs- What? That dude is dead no?

Padfoot- Their telling us the future.

Prongs- Oooh! Man! I die :(! Oh! But I marry Lily! :D

Lily- -_- Great…

**S.S. still had some problems and was still very depressed when he died about 15 years later. So sad. I am sorry. Too much? Yeah, okay.**

Snape- Okay that is not the way I wanted to live…

**Here, all three of you and whoever else is listening -reading?- get a brand new boxed set of the HP books.**

_I will…one day…*doesn't have any books embarrassingly enough*_

**Because I like you, S.S., I changed the "Snape's Worst Memory" chapter in OotP to "James' Worst and Most Embarrasing Memory," in which he walks in on Remus and Sirius, because I like them and want to annoy them. Oh, the things I subject poor Harry's eyes to . . .**

Prongs- What? I don't have embarrassing moments! Lies!

Snape- Thanks for the title change :D

***to Lizard* Is it hard to write things that have to be like S.S.'s personality?**

_Yes. It is. He's all stoic and serious (Padfoot- Black!) all the time. _

Snape- -_- Thanks.

_:D_

**Random ending note: the ampersand guy, the &, is a guy dragging his butt on the floor. **

_Haha! It is! _

Moony- Oh gosh! I never realized that!

Padfoot- I don't get it

Snape- That's because you're an idiot.

Lily- True...

Padfoot- -_-

Lily- :D I meant about the ampersand sign! (and you too)

Padfoot- -_-

**Bye, all!**

_Bye! _

Moony and Padfoot- Bye!

Snape- goodbye

Prongs- Bye!

Lily- Bye bye!

_Question 15 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**-hands on hips- Hello Lizard... Remember me? The one who was going to kill you with archers and tigers? Watch your back... **

_I'm afraid…Snape hold me! _

Snape - -_- Hold yourself.

**-waves like an idiot- Hello Bambi and Forever Alone! :D**

Snape- That better not imply me!

Prongs- Hah! Loser!

Snape- Says the poorly named after a Disney movie.

**What do you do when a bloody Hufflepuff is following you everywhere? Their always under my feet! **

_We are not! …most of the time… _

Snape- Tell them something meaningful and make them your slaves.

Prongs- Hey! That's what I was going to say!

_Hey! Offensive! We're not that desperate for attention…most of the time…_

**Lizard, you on Pottermore yet? I'm a GRYFFINDOR! :D **

_Yes I am I'm Hufflepuff as expected! *HUFFLEPUFF PRIDE* _

**Sev you are the cutest! **

Snape-…thank you…?

Prongs- Ew.

**Lizard! Don't you just flail when Dumbles goes "After all this time?" And Snape's just like "Always." In that monotone voice of his? I love it! 3**

_Me too! I always say it whenever I hear those words! _

Snape- What?

_Nothing nothing…_

Snape- -_-?

_Bye! _

Snape- Bye

Prongs- Bye!

Moony and Padfoot and Lily-*in the background playing with bunnies* Bye!

_Last Question 16 comes_ _from_ **Random Gryffindor**

**Severus, if you were a teacher and Head of Slytherin and had to teach students about sex, how would you do it? *smiles innocently***

Snape- I would teach it from the textbook. Sex is a perfectly normal concept and should be taught as so.

Prongs- Ew! You teaching sex ed? When are you ever going to need it?

Snape-…*tackles James*

Prongs and Snape- *fight*

_Well bye thanks for your question! :D *ignores the fighting in the background*_

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to those who reviewed! Also to Snickerdoodle Black I LOL'ed so hard at your comment of "Let's exchange sarcastic comments" Ahhh!*sighs* So funny!<strong>


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